SHOPLIFTERS!!!
The reason why  this is funny is because.... it's true.

in other words...


I caught another shoplifter last night. This girl with a heavy German accent walked out the store without buying anything and it set our alarm off. She was carrying an Ambercrombie bag. Sometimes the morons over at Ambercrombie don't take the censors off their shit and then they set off our alarm when people come in so we have to take them off. That's what we thought happened. So my store manager walks up to her and tells her she thinks there is a censor on one of the items she bought. The girl is digging in her bag but refuses to let Angie look in the bag. So after like 5 mins of this the girl tells us that she just bought the pants she's wearing and maybe they left a censor on her pants and she didn't notice. Well, she didn't beep when she walked in the door. She asks to be let into a fitting room to see if there is a censor on her pants. The doors on the dressing rooms don't hit the floor so we can tell if someone's in the room. Angie and I stood there and watched her take her shoes off, then her pants, get on all fours and slide up underneath the next stall. When she stood back up to put her pants back on I opened the fitting room next to her and there was a pile of clothes on the bench in there in the corner. Angie called security and when the girl walked out of the dressing room Angie picked up the pile of clothes and said "Did you want to buy this?" to which the girl replied "No. No. Definitly not." So we tell her to wait to which she says "Oh, i have no problem with that, i don't want you to think anything because I'm an exchange student from Germany." (useless info for the day: Exchange students who are arrested will be automatically deported once their hearing has issued it. That is, if they don't go to jail first.)

DON"T SHOPLIFT WHEN I"M AROUND BITCHES!